Carbon dating jokes


The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O. What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?


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He got Avogadro's number! A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood. The optimist sees the glass half full.


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The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state. What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? If H 2 O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

Carbon Dating

H 2 O cubed. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer? What do you do with a dead chemist? What did one ion say to the other? I've got my ion you. Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber? To reduce his carbon footprint.

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

Chemistry Jokes and Riddles

What do you call a clown who's in jail? Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. Some of them are new, and just as offensive. Unless it's spam, it stays. If you find certain comments or submissions here offensive, the best way to address it is with more speech. Wow, carbon dating has improved in recent years! A museum visitor was admiring a Tyrannosaurus fossil, and asked a nearby museum employee how old it was. My friends told me to try eHarmony for a fuller life, but I tried carbon dating instead because I only wanted a half life. There are many ways we can know the age of a fossil.


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  • We date fossils by association with rocks that contain uranium, potassium or other radioactive elements interlayered or cross-cutting the sedimentary beds that contain them. Carbon is amazing for archaeology though, it can be used to date any material with an organic origin, such as plant or animal materials, even human bones. I will not remove any jokes that are NSFW tagged provided they do not break any of the other rules!

    Maybe I should give up dating carbon-based lifeforms and just go with carbon instead. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a link to a pun. Submit an original text pun. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Puns aren't funnier at higher volume. Does this even need to be said? Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet.

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